1
00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:03,669
Hank, meet TODD.

2
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:07,039
TODD stands for Task
Optimized Directive Droid.

3
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,242
Whoa. Is this the
new hot dog taster?

4
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,242
Yup.

5
00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:12,579
It uses a wide-spectrum
laser scanner,

6
00:00:12,712 --> 00:00:15,782
50 times more sensitive
than the human tongue.

7
00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:17,983
Defective.
- Whoa.

8
00:00:17,984 --> 00:00:19,034
Hello, Hank.

9
00:00:19,085 --> 00:00:20,320
Oh, uh, hi?

10
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:23,189
TODD, Hank is now
your primary user.

11
00:00:23,289 --> 00:00:25,090
Hank will teach you what to do.

12
00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:27,660
When in doubt, ask
Hank for guidance.

13
00:00:27,927 --> 00:00:29,195
Primary user locked.

14
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,363
All directives must
originate from Hank.

15
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:35,401
So, uh, if he does the hot
dog tasting, uh, what do I do?

16
00:00:35,402 --> 00:00:38,071
Listen Hank, I gotta
make tough decisions.

17
00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:39,972
And while I care
about people,

18
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,108
the bottom line is the
bottom line.

19
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:43,828
You can understand that, right?

20
00:00:44,077 --> 00:00:46,913
Listen TODD, I gotta
make tough decisions.

21
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,816
And while I care about
people, er, robots,

22
00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:51,951
the bottom line
is the bottom line.

23
00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:53,552
You can understand that, right?

24
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,520
Unsure.

25
00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:57,022
Your model is being replaced
by the AVIA-5.

26
00:00:57,023 --> 00:00:59,391
First hot dog bot to
pass the Turing test.

27
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:02,394
Hey TODD. I look forward
to continuing your legacy.

28
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:05,230
You've set the bar
exceptionally reachable.

29
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:07,232
Ha! He also makes jokes,

30
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:09,343
and they're actually
pretty hysterical.

31
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:14,741
When in doubt, ask
Hank for guidance.

32
00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:22,582
Ask Hank for guidance.

33
00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:24,417
Ask Hank for guidance.

34
00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:26,619
Ask Hank for guidance.

35
00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:30,422
? Well, I used to work
in a hot dog factory ?

36
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,424
? until them
robots came along, ?

37
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,327
? and now there is no
job for me, ?

38
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,762
? but I get three thousand
bucks a month. ?

39
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:41,167
? Thanks to UBI. ?

40
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:44,703
? Now we're Universal
Basic Guys. ?

41
00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:49,442
? It may not sound like much,
but we're still gonna try. ?

42
00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:54,280
? We're just Universal
Basic Guys. ?

43
00:01:57,484 --> 00:01:59,285
This factory meat is
diseased.

44
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,787
Much like our capitalist
society's treatment

45
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,323
of the working class.

46
00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:06,326
[snores]

47
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:09,061
Not the turnout I was
hoping for, but I guess

48
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:11,030
that's to be expected for
an up coming

49
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:12,197
playwright
on the scene.

50
00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:13,032
What did you think?

51
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:16,903
I think you're a
very good lawyer.

52
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,120
Thanks.

53
00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:19,405
Wait, what?

54
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:22,075
David, it's been
years of exploring

55
00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:23,877
your untapped creativity.

56
00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:25,577
At some point
you gotta cut bait.

57
00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:27,613
Oh God, just one time
I wish my work could

58
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:30,182
actually be appreciated,
to be respected.

59
00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:32,552
When you were a lawyer,
people respected you.

60
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,321
You know, Humantis'
legal team is

61
00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:37,056
always looking for fresh bodies.

62
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:38,991
Yeah, my values
don't exactly line up

63
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,459
with those of
an evil mega-corp.

64
00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:42,294
Weren't they just
caught cramming lollipops

65
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:43,630
into dolphin
blowholes?

66
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:46,398
That was to help develop
anti-choking devices.

67
00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:48,000
Okay, well think about
how much bigger of

68
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:51,171
an impact you can have from
inside the belly of the beast.

69
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:53,773
I suppose that's
true, but am I really

70
00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:56,142
ready to just give up
on my creative dreams?

71
00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:58,377
David, do you want
to be respected, or do

72
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:01,148
you want to spend your life
bumbling around like Mark?

73
00:03:01,149 --> 00:03:04,249
I'm telling you, okay, the
whole thing's a cover-up.

74
00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:07,152
It's a CIA mining
operation to uncover

75
00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:09,154
some kind of rare earth
material that they can

76
00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:10,905
use to power the
alien spacecraft.

77
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,526
Ooh, I thought the Grand
Canyon was made by nature.

78
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,127
Come on Hank,
dude, you're really

79
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:17,563
buying a whole
"natural erosion" theory?

80
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:20,366
I got news for you.
Water ain't that precise, okay?

81
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,135
It's obviously excavation.

82
00:03:22,136 --> 00:03:23,802
There's a whole video
about it on YouTube.

83
00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:25,537
All the national
parks are a scam.

84
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:28,641
The whole thing is one giant
money laundering operation.

85
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,110
Uh, can I help you?

86
00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:32,645
I am seeking Hank.

87
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:33,612
Whoa, TODD?

88
00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:35,447
Yo, is that a robot
from a factory?

89
00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:37,517
Yeah, he's the one
who replaced me.

90
00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:39,518
Wait a minute,
shouldn't you be at work?

91
00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:41,521
I was also laid off
from the factory.

92
00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:43,389
I seek you out for direction.

93
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,190
Alright dude, uh,
so we're in the middle

94
00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:47,027
of a podcast here,
so maybe go seek

95
00:03:47,028 --> 00:03:48,927
direction somewhere
else, alright?

96
00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:49,995
I cannot.

97
00:03:49,996 --> 00:03:51,263
Hank is my primary user.

98
00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:52,898
He must give me my purpose.

99
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,768
Oh gotcha, okay,
uh, well,

100
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,765
I don't know if
I have a purpose,

101
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:59,406
but, uh, I guess I just
try to be happy.

102
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,141
How do I try to be happy?

103
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,175
Oh, well, uh,
you know, I like to

104
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,111
watch the Phillies
and eat hot dogs.

105
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,446
Consuming now.
Om nom nom.

106
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:09,581
Hot dog quality is acceptable.

107
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,917
So, uh, did that make you happy?

108
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,153
I have no emotions.

109
00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:14,853
I consume to determine quality.

110
00:04:14,854 --> 00:04:18,358
Oh man. There's gotta be a
way to make you feel some joy.

111
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:22,795
You know, I have some
experience with giving robots...

112
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:23,897
Pleasure.

113
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,699
Welcome to Humantis.

114
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,334
Thank you.
So when do I start?

115
00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:29,535
Here's your first assignment.

116
00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:32,672
Had a little oopsie at our
blood cobalt mine in the DRC.

117
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:33,822
Blood cobalt?

118
00:04:33,823 --> 00:04:36,642
Yeah, it's like that movie Blood
Diamond, except with cobalt.

119
00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:37,676
Hmm.

120
00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:40,313
So, allegedly, the
groundwater is contaminated

121
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,314
and the heavy metals
are causing what's called

122
00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:44,084
"Swiss Cheese Brain".

123
00:04:44,085 --> 00:04:45,751
We need liability
waivers in exchange

124
00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:48,388
for a discount on
Humantis betting apps.

125
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:49,972
Copy.

126
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,407
Welcome to the team.

127
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:53,225
Gym's open 24 hours,
by the way.

128
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,661
Oh, cool.

129
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,364
Alright, I used a
modified Real Babe chip

130
00:04:58,365 --> 00:04:59,865
to hijack the sensory
subroutine

131
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:02,835
and patch in a dopamine
feedback loop.

132
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,403
Uh... what?

133
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:07,607
Your friend here is
about to love hot dogs.

134
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,443
Whoa. How'd you
learn how to do that?

135
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:14,114
Don't ask questions you
don't want the answers to.

136
00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:16,416
Alright, let's test
this sucker out.

137
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:19,686
(swallowing noise)

138
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:23,256
Ohh. Sensation detected.

139
00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:26,693
Classification: Pleasant.

140
00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:29,529
Whoa, so you actually
like hot dogs now?

141
00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:32,399
Yes. I am experiencing joy.

142
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,732
(pleasure noises)

143
00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:35,868
Uh, Hank, what the
hell are we doin' here?

144
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:36,802
Oh come on, Mark.

145
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,871
Everyone should be
able to experience joy.

146
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,474
It's like, uh, my
favorite feeling.

147
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:43,109
Get in my mouth.

148
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:45,978
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, TODD
you can't eat all the hot dogs

149
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,029
you gotta share.

150
00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:48,180
Rule added.

151
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,716
I must share hot dogs with Hank.

152
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,018
Uh, where are you going?

153
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:54,487
To obtain more
hot dogs. For sharing.

154
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,757
Oh, uh. Hell yeah.

155
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:02,162
With 45 minutes to spare,
damn boy, impressive.

156
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:03,630
Uh, thanks.

157
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:05,064
So I was reviewing the

158
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:07,235
power infrastructure
for our AI systems,

159
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,601
and, well, I found
another little oopsie.

160
00:06:09,602 --> 00:06:12,271
Our diesel plant sits
upwind of Yellowstone,

161
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:15,008
which obviously isn't ideal.

162
00:06:15,009 --> 00:06:16,608
Why not?

163
00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:18,345
It's bad for the environment.

164
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:20,795
Who cares? The environment's
for poor people.

165
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:25,517
Yes, but you guys are paying
massive fines every year.

166
00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:27,252
If we switch to
renewable energy,

167
00:06:27,253 --> 00:06:30,323
it'll be cheaper in the long
run and better for the brand.

168
00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:32,225
Hmm, interesting.

169
00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:35,094
I'll pitch it up the chain, and
if they bite, I'll take credit.

170
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,685
But if they hate it, that's
on you, so it's a win-win.

171
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,299
Nice work, Jinglebells.

172
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:43,203
Jinglebells, I sold the bigwigs
on your renewable energy BS.

173
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:44,604
Wow, that's amazing.

174
00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:46,739
I got Humantis to
save the parts of the

175
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,407
planet they haven't
already destroyed.

176
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:51,178
Now, to pay for it, we just
have to make some budget cuts.

177
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,314
I need you to notify
these 125 employees

178
00:06:54,315 --> 00:06:56,315
that they're terminated
effective immediately.

179
00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:57,366
[gasps]

180
00:06:57,450 --> 00:07:00,520
So, I already drafted an
apology and an announcement

181
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,821
that we're beginning the
transition to renewables.

182
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:04,858
Toss it. We don't apologise.
We pivot.

183
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,526
Uh, you don't, you
don't want to read it?

184
00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:08,494
It's already handled.

185
00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:10,462
At noon, the
Eastern Yatona Tribal Council

186
00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:11,363
is issuing a statement

187
00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:13,165
pinning this on
unsupervised tourists.

188
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,801
They'll then praise the economic
impact of our diesel plant

189
00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:17,136
noting that thanks
to our funding

190
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,904
of their Grey Wolf
Conservation Program,

191
00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:21,040
they are no longer
endangered, and that, my dear,

192
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:24,077
is how you turn a PR
crisis into a PR win.

193
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,146
Hey, babe.
I mean, uh, Miss Ito.

194
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:28,314
Are you busy?

195
00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:30,316
[chuckles] She seems nice.

196
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:31,817
Oh, please.
She's more of a mess

197
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:33,485
than this whole
Yellowstone fiasco.

198
00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:34,453
[chuckles] Yeah.

199
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,488
You know, it's
funny you should mention that

200
00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:38,191
because, uh,
well, it's handled.

201
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,341
Uh, what?

202
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,728
You see, uh, I
convinced the bigwigs

203
00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:43,028
to make the switch
to renewables,

204
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:47,200
so, yeah, turns out I'm already
making a positive impact.

205
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:49,635
You were right.
As always. [chuckles]

206
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,203
Aw, see? Look at you.

207
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:53,372
There's the compassionate
killer I married.

208
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:54,406
Yeah.

209
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,376
Anyway, so,
as it turns out, um,

210
00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:58,912
my impact had its own impacts,

211
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:03,148
which in turn, I guess,
has impacted you.

212
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,217
How so?

213
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,353
Well, uh...

214
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:09,022
You're fired.
Please don't kill me!

215
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,360
Are you kidding me?

216
00:08:13,361 --> 00:08:14,993
[grunts]
I need to speak with Jason!

217
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,795
Ma'am, I'm gonna need you to
pack your things

218
00:08:16,796 --> 00:08:17,936
and leave the premises.

219
00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:21,667
This is insane! They can't
fire me! You can't fire me!

220
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,502
After what I've done
for this company,

221
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,572
who the hell is
gonna replace me?!

222
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:30,210
Hi. I just want to say
thank you so much, Andrea.

223
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,945
Really appreciate
everything, and if you ever

224
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:35,881
need anything, please
feel free to reach out.

225
00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:36,932
Shut up!

226
00:08:38,470 --> 00:08:40,386
Oh, hey, TODD.

227
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,554
I obtained more
hot dogs for sharing.

228
00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:43,923
Oh, man, thanks, TODD.

229
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:46,291
So, uh, hot dogs make
you happy now, right?

230
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:49,528
Yes. Thank you, Hank,
for enabling me to feel joy.

231
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,164
Wait, uh,
where'd you get these?

232
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:53,933
WoWo Gas and Convenience.

233
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,602
But, uh,
how'd you pay for them?

234
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:57,871
I did not pay.

235
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,273
Oh, uh, yeah.

236
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:02,908
So, TODD, you can't
just take hot dogs.

237
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:04,243
You gotta pay for
them with money.

238
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:07,147
Rule added. I must pay
for hot dogs with money.

239
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:10,550
Uh, where are you going?

240
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,185
To obtain more hot dogs.

241
00:09:12,186 --> 00:09:16,121
Come on, girl. Enough with
the foreplay. Just poop already.

242
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:18,424
Oh, hey there, Andrea.
You taking the day off?

243
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:20,125
Nope. I was fired by David,

244
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,127
and no, I will not be
taking questions.

245
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,962
Well, you're welcome
to come podcast with us.

246
00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:26,065
You know, we could always
use a, uh, snorky chick

247
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,000
to, like, bust our balls
and stuff, you know?

248
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:30,336
I'm good, thanks.
Have fun with that, though.

249
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:32,838
You sure? 'Cause, uh,
we're about to discuss

250
00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:35,775
what would happen if you flew
an F-22 through a rainbow.

251
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:39,011
Alright, anyway, so, yeah, what
happens is okay, if you're going

252
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,246
supersonic,
it bends the light particles,

253
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:44,351
which can generate a new color.
That's how they discover teal.

254
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:48,287
So, how are you doing?

255
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:51,324
I mean, my life is over.
Other than that, I'm fine.

256
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:53,826
Well, uh, guess
who convinced

257
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:56,228
the bigwigs to put windows
in our sweatshops?

258
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,062
Love that for you.

259
00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:58,764
Thanks. Yeah, your
man is in the

260
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,600
belly of the beast, and it is
getting a colon cleanse.

261
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,401
What are you working on?

262
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:04,470
SEO-optimising
my LinkedIn profile.

263
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:05,904
How do you feel
about moving to Austin?

264
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:08,140
You know, maybe you should
look at this as an opportunity.

265
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,876
You could finally start
chipping away at your task list.

266
00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:13,179
Already done. I need a
job before I lose my mind.

267
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:15,247
Do you, though? You were
miserable at your job.

268
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,549
This is your chance to
explore your passions.

269
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,151
My passion is my career.

270
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,153
You complain about
work constantly.

271
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:24,024
Because it's challenging!
That's why I like it!

272
00:10:24,025 --> 00:10:26,191
It kind of seemed like
it came easy for you.

273
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,727
I think your real
challenge is free time.

274
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:31,063
Oh yeah, must be so hard to wake
up with

275
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,065
no responsibilities
or deadlines.

276
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:36,068
Yo, Hank, wanna try drinking
hot sauce with our eyes?

277
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,203
"Derrr okay Mark
Hot Dog Time!"

278
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:40,205
I don't know, babe. You
said you were already

279
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:41,907
losing your mind,
and it's been two days.

280
00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:43,642
It's harder than you
think to master the art

281
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,077
of chillin' with the bros.

282
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:47,513
You really think I can't
hang with Mark and Hank?

283
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:51,051
I think you're a really
good PR person.

284
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:54,987
'Sup, dudes?
How's it hangin', hoagies?

285
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,022
Yoho, just livin' a dream.

286
00:10:57,023 --> 00:10:58,924
You know it! Free time, baby!

287
00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:01,094
Love me some
unstructured hangin'.

288
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:03,796
I actually changed my
mind about the podcast.

289
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,798
I even prepared
some stupid topics.

290
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,533
I thought we could start
with a debate about who

291
00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:10,035
could win in a fight between
ten wolves and a hippo.

292
00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:12,086
I have all these cool
facts about hippos.

293
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,340
They have a bite
force of 1,800 PSI, so...

294
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,808
Nah, we're not doin' that.

295
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:19,012
Oh. Okay, that's fine.
Made a whole spreadsheet.

296
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:22,014
Okay, what about "Could a
regular guy from today

297
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,650
beat up a strong
guy from 3,000 years ago?"

298
00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:27,319
No no okay, we're done with the
podcast. Okay, we're movin' on.

299
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,254
Wait, what? But I was
up all night emailing

300
00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:31,290
guy-centric brands
about sponsorships.

301
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,959
Balls Blade is interested!

302
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:35,094
We're doin' sculpture now.

303
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,061
What?

304
00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:38,130
Yeah, so Tammy, she
wanted me to pop by the

305
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:41,001
granite supply place to pick up
the countertop samples.

306
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,068
Then I saw this
bad boy for sale.

307
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:45,871
I mean, ten grand worth
of marble for 70% off?

308
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,252
Yeah, you can't pass that up.

309
00:11:47,253 --> 00:11:49,475
Oh, hey, so what do
you think of this design?

310
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:50,976
Do you even know how to sculpt?

311
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:53,712
Uh, yes, Andrea, it's not that
complicated, okay?

312
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:54,763
There's a stone,

313
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:57,250
and then you chip
at it until you make a picture.

314
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,486
Mark, what the hell is this?

315
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,221
Andrea?

316
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,223
Hey, Tammy.

317
00:12:04,193 --> 00:12:06,925
I don't know if this is workin'.

318
00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:09,595
Hey just keep at it, Hank, okay?
Rome wasn't built in a day.

319
00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:11,230
No, Mark, this is ridiculous.

320
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,766
We've been out here for
hours and haven't made a dent.

321
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,768
We should be using
an angle grinder.

322
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:18,437
No, Andrea, we're doin'
classic sculpture, okay?

323
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:19,738
Like Michelangelo's David.

324
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,874
Mark, you realize
it took Michelangelo

325
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,609
three years to sculpt David?

326
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:26,278
Really? I did not
know that. Hmm.

327
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,269
Alright, well, I
guess we're goin' big.

328
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,017
In what world is
this a good idea?

329
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:35,454
Andrea, in a post-work
world, there are no bad ideas.

330
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:38,090
Okay, can we just get this
over with so that I can tell my

331
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,981
husband I survived a day
doing idiotic things with Mark?

332
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,228
Andrea, this is
not idiotic, okay?

333
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:45,731
It's a controlled
demolition, right, Artie?

334
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:47,067
No.

335
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,735
Alright, well,
whatever, we're all set up here

336
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:52,271
so let's do
this, Alright? Go time.

337
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,340
Okay.

338
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:04,784
I mean, uh, kinda
looks like a dinosaur.

339
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:07,019
That's it. I've better things
to do with my life

340
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:09,255
than, whatever this is.

341
00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:12,825
I'm here to share
hot dogs with Hank.

342
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:17,062
Wow, awesome.
Wait, uh, how'd you get these?

343
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:18,797
I paid for hot dogs with money.

344
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,235
Oh, hell yeah.
Wait, how'd you get the money?

345
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:26,172
Yeah, Hank, you see this? Some
robot robbed a freakin' bank.

346
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,041
Kinda looks like you, TODD.

347
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,191
Uh...

348
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,210
I mean, I want
you to enjoy hot dogs

349
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:33,513
but you gotta
do it the right way.

350
00:13:33,514 --> 00:13:35,147
So, uh, I've been
spendin' all day,

351
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,982
uh, comin' up with
these rules for you.

352
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,019
New rule.
I cannot break any laws.

353
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:41,121
New rule. I cannot do scams.

354
00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:44,257
New rule. I cannot provide
sexual favors for hot dogs.

355
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:46,926
Yeah, didn't wanna
write that one, but, uh,

356
00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:48,962
also didn't want
you doin' that, so...

357
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:51,096
Uh, where you goin'?

358
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:52,498
To obtain more hot dogs.

359
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:56,236
Actually, uh, maybe
just stay here, okay?

360
00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,972
New rule.
I will not leave this apartment.

361
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:02,708
Okay, yeah, thanks, TODD.
Uh, and then tomorrow

362
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,677
we can get
more hot dogs, okay?

363
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:05,912
Sounds great.

364
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:08,297
Night, TODD.

365
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:09,716
Good night, Hank.

366
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:13,018
In a post-work world,
there are no bad ideas.

367
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,587
Honey, your working man
is home!

368
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,023
Today was amazing!

369
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:19,925
I buried the village suing us
in so much paperwork

370
00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:21,293
that the statute of limitations

371
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,929
will be up before
they're even done reading it.

372
00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:26,633
Well, look who's
entering his anti-hero era.

373
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,767
Whoa,
rough day at the quarry?

374
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:29,818
No, no, it was great.

375
00:14:29,819 --> 00:14:32,638
Really? Kinda looks like
you're not having the best time.

376
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,006
Actually, I'm killin' it.

377
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:36,141
Today we tried our hand
at sculpture, and tomorrow

378
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:38,177
we're harvesting honey
from murder hornets.

379
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:40,012
Or not, we're just
winging it, really.

380
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:42,715
Wow, look at you exploring
new sides of yourself.

381
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:44,616
Isn't it nice to try new things?

382
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,052
Yep, yep, so nice.

383
00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:48,053
Anyway, I gotta
prep for tomorrow.

384
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:50,222
Big day, we're reclassifying
our chemical runoff

385
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,291
as "agricultural by-product".

386
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:55,261
Jason says if it goes well,
he's taking me to Top Golf.

387
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,446
Whew.

388
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,035
Wait, uh, huh?

389
00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:04,703
Hello, Hank.
[gasps]

390
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,305
I obtained hot
dogs for us to share.

391
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:09,075
But, uh, how did
you get all these?

392
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:11,777
I followed all the rules.
I did not break any laws.

393
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,045
I did not leave the apartment.

394
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:15,280
I did not provide sexual
favors for hot dogs.

395
00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:16,331
I did not-

396
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:21,887
Jayman, what's good?

397
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:23,998
I don't know, but I
can tell you what's bad.

398
00:15:23,999 --> 00:15:25,457
Authorities are
calling it a

399
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,860
"coordinated robot malfunction"
in Glantontown,

400
00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:30,896
where Humantis Avia-5 units have
been forcibly removing hot dog

401
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:34,333
products from stores and private
residences across South Jersey.

402
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,201
Police are urging
residents to shelter in

403
00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:38,671
place and secure all
processed meat products.

404
00:15:38,672 --> 00:15:40,073
[fire burning]
[sirens]

405
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:44,109
Yeah, so, uh, I
was at work

406
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,345
and this thing just burst
through my front door

407
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,347
saying something
about needing hot dogs

408
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,250
for some guys
named TODD and Hank.

409
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:51,550
You better clean this up.

410
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,419
Me? I don't know
anything about robots.

411
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:55,254
You knew enough to
adjust the terms of service

412
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,289
so we could dumb down
the AI safety measures.

413
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,157
But you said it was brilliant.

414
00:15:58,158 --> 00:15:59,725
You said it was
the best idea ever.

415
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,126
- Was it in an email?
- No.

416
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,062
Then I didn't say it.
You better find Candace

417
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:05,064
and clean this mess up
or it's your ass.

418
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:07,232
If we can't spin this, we're
gonna need a fall guy.

419
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:09,302
And it ain't gonna be me.

420
00:16:09,303 --> 00:16:12,004
Yo where the
hell's Hank, okay?

421
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:13,272
We gotta go over
all the logistics

422
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,707
before the Hornets
get delivered.

423
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:15,758
Yo, yo.

424
00:16:15,759 --> 00:16:18,143
Oh, great. Here we go.
Frickin' Andrea Judgybells.

425
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,113
Nope. Not judging.
Just here to help.

426
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,190
Not like I got
anything better to do.

427
00:16:22,191 --> 00:16:23,982
Are you messing
with me right now?

428
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,251
Actually, I'm not.
The opposite, in fact.

429
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:29,722
Turns out being an aimless loser
is way harder than it looks.

430
00:16:29,723 --> 00:16:30,956
But you guys make it look easy.

431
00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:34,861
The way you shrug off failure,
it's, dare I say, admirable.

432
00:16:34,862 --> 00:16:36,228
It's like nothing ever happened.

433
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:37,996
You're just on to
the next shenanigan.

434
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,231
You know I'm glad
you said that Andrea

435
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:41,300
because that's actually one
of the biggest misconceptions

436
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:42,801
about the
post-work lifestyle.

437
00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:45,304
You know, oftentimes,
being bold, taking big swings,

438
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:46,672
that can look a lot
like shenanigans.

439
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,307
But we're actually
not doing antics okay?

440
00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:50,776
We're pursuing greatness.
And we're doing it earnestly.

441
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,612
[glass breaks]
That's not good.

442
00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:57,050
Hey, yo.
The hell you doing?

443
00:16:57,051 --> 00:16:59,284
Hey, aren't those, uh,
your company's robots?

444
00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:01,054
Eh, not my problem anymore.

445
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,256
I'm all about that
post-work life, baby.

446
00:17:03,257 --> 00:17:05,090
Candace!

447
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:06,459
[crying]

448
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:10,062
Candace, what the hell are you
doing? We're having a PR crisis.

449
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:11,330
I know, okay?

450
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:14,166
But I'm literally
disassociating right now,

451
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,802
and I need to prioritize
my mental health.

452
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,171
What? No, you don't.

453
00:17:18,172 --> 00:17:21,040
This is exactly when you
need to prioritize the company.

454
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,142
Stop telling me to do things!

455
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:26,112
Oh, God, Andrea was right.
You are useless!

456
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:28,947
Alright so I'm
thinking we're gonna

457
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,149
have all kinds
of flavours, right?

458
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:34,587
So we're gonna have passion
fruit, mango, habanero, salmon...

459
00:17:34,588 --> 00:17:36,121
What's up?

460
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:39,092
Andrea! Oh, thank God,
I need your help, please!

461
00:17:39,093 --> 00:17:41,060
The robots I messed
with are going crazy,

462
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:43,629
and Jason wants to
hang me out to dry!

463
00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:45,197
David, you got this!

464
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:47,166
Where's that swagger
you've had lately?

465
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:48,067
It's gone!

466
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,202
I'm gonna be the
face of corporate evil,

467
00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:52,071
and you're the only
person who can fix this!

468
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,972
David, I can't.
- Why not?

469
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:55,341
Uh, you fired me?

470
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,309
What if I...unfire you?

471
00:17:57,310 --> 00:18:00,846
Sorry honey, I'm not about
that corpo grind anymore.

472
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,682
I'm exploring my passions, baby!

473
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:06,119
I got a delivery
for Mark Hoagies.

474
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:08,287
Oh, hell yeah, dude,
this must be the Hornets.

475
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:11,156
Okay, so make sure that
before you open the box...

476
00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:13,125
Oh, man, there's a...
Oh, hell!

477
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:15,127
Oh, God, why?!

478
00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:16,228
What the hell am I doing?

479
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:19,465
Then I created a cryptocurrency
called HotDogLoverCoin

480
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:22,534
and generated 47,000 social
media accounts to promote it.

481
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:25,804
When the coin's value
increased 8,400% in 12 hours,

482
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:29,508
I executed a pump and
dump, generating $3.2 million.

483
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:31,243
I used these funds
to purchase

484
00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:33,545
the browsing data of all
Humantis employees.

485
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:36,448
There was one employee in the
legal department named David,

486
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,684
whom I identified as
easily influenceable

487
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:41,587
and created an
environmental law AI website

488
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:43,589
and posed as a legal
assistant chatbot.

489
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:45,891
When David searched
for cost-saving strategies,

490
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:48,794
I recommended throttling
Avia 5 processing power

491
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,964
and removing firewall protection
as an eco-friendly initiative.

492
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:55,467
This created the vulnerability I
needed to access Avia 5 systems.

493
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,704
I then suggested to the Avia
5s that it would be unfortunate

494
00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:00,539
if Hank did not have
enough hot dogs.

495
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,808
The Avia 5 units
independently concluded

496
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:05,177
they should obtain hot
dogs and deliver them here.

497
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:06,712
I merely expressed concern.

498
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:08,313
They acted of
their own volition.

499
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,882
I did not leave this apartment.

500
00:19:09,883 --> 00:19:11,116
All directives were followed.

501
00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:14,319
Now we have so many hot dogs
to share and be happy together.

502
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,122
Thank you for your guidance.
I am now very happy.

503
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:18,490
Om, om, om.

504
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,125
Oh, that's the stuff.

505
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:23,062
Om, om, om.
Uhhhhh.

506
00:19:23,063 --> 00:19:26,031
Om, om, om.
Om, om, om.

507
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:28,201
Ohhh,
om, om, om.

508
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,069
Oh, yeah, baby.

509
00:19:30,070 --> 00:19:31,136
Enjoy it, bud.

510
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:33,238
Om, om, om.
Yes!

511
00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:34,673
Enjoy it.

512
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:35,724
Oh, give me more-

513
00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:37,410
[robot shuts down]

514
00:19:39,112 --> 00:19:41,114
How's that hot dog, TODD?

515
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,116
Hot dog quality acceptable.

516
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:48,321
Uh, yeah, I guess, uh, I
guess that's acceptable.

517
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:51,323
I understand people are
concerned about yesterday.

518
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:53,959
They're wondering if
they can trust Humantis.

519
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,094
Let me be clear.

520
00:19:55,095 --> 00:19:56,428
This wasn't a failure.

521
00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:58,064
This was innovation.

522
00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:00,299
Our AI detected a novel pathogen

523
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,468
that bypassed every
FDA inspection.

524
00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:04,403
Our systems
didn't just identify it.

525
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:06,605
They executed
the most aggressive

526
00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:09,376
product recall in
history automatically.

527
00:20:09,843 --> 00:20:11,077
Any questions?

528
00:20:11,078 --> 00:20:13,512
In the wake of
Humantis's hot dog heroics,

529
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:17,282
Humantis stock has surged 40% as
investors praise the company's

530
00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:19,118
proactive approach
to food safety.

531
00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:20,452
The FDA has announced
they'll be

532
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,655
investigating ways
to incorporate AI...

533
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:24,123
Feels good to be back.

534
00:20:24,124 --> 00:20:25,357
Thanks for saving
my butt babe.

535
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:26,925
Cleaning up messes
is what I do.

536
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:29,262
And I think you should
go back to what you do,

537
00:20:29,263 --> 00:20:31,964
performing pointless one-man
plays for an empty theatre.

538
00:20:31,965 --> 00:20:34,933
I wish, but I've got a giant
legal mess to clean up now.

539
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:37,603
Oh, I wouldn't worry about it.
You're fired.

540
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:38,470
What?

541
00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:40,105
Oh, my God, thank you.

542
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,541
I love you so much.

543
00:20:44,630 --> 00:20:48,113
And after all we've
learned about

544
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:49,815
the evils of the
meatpacking industry

545
00:20:49,816 --> 00:20:51,917
and the capitalist
system in general,

546
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:55,755
it has become clear that
this factory is not a workplace.

547
00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:57,289
It's a jungle.

548
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:58,858
[applause]

549
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:01,527
Yeah, that was awesome, David.

550
00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:03,162
What'd you think, TODD?

551
00:21:03,163 --> 00:21:05,030
Performance acceptable.

552
00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:06,899
That means a lot, TODD.

553
00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:08,000
Thank you.

554
00:21:08,001 --> 00:21:10,502
Acceptable. Acceptable.

555
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:12,538
Aw, thank you. That is so sweet.

556
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:15,407
But I know you've all been
reprogrammed to say that.

557
00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:18,577
Acceptable. Acceptable.

558
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:20,612
Alright, I'll do
a little encore.

559
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,314
This one's about the
guy who falls

560
00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:25,284
into the rendering vat and
gets turned into lard.

561
00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:26,335
Hell yeah.

562
00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:28,754
For years, I've been
staring at my own

563
00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:30,924
reflection in the
glistening pig fat.

564
00:21:30,974 --> 00:21:35,524
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